“I talk sex because I survived: I was raped because no one ‘talked sex’ to me”

“Everything I know about sex has been self-sought and self-taught, through experiences and discussions that were always too taboo for my environment or my peers. I value so much my sexuality and I’ve benefited from those accessible people who talk about sex so openly, because I never had that growing up. Sex is hilarious and intimate and a responsibility and provides a massive insight into who you really are.”

“I grew up in a catholic American home and attended some of the most white-bread schools in the US, including a catholic high school where we – I kid you not – learned that soy milk makes you gay, and had to march in the Pro Life march as a mandatory part of our English course!!

“I was so incredibly lost, so ill-informed, so unaware of what is and is not ok for a man to do to you because I was never really taught anything other than that “sex is important for a functioning and fruitful marriage.”

“Last year, as a first-year at the prestigious country club of a university in upstate NY, USA, I was raped in the blurred-lines manner so typical of American college-town culture. It was the day before our month-and-a-half winter break, so I quickly fled the state and returned to my familial suburban bubble. I remember telling my sister, in this shaking unsure way, that I thought I had been raped. And I remember my sister getting so mad at me, getting angry at the secondhand reputation she might attract because of friends of friends who know me and routinely relay to her how much of a “hoe” I am.”

“Anyway, I ended up transferring out of that university – for obvious reasons — and now study in London. It’s still weird for me to think that my sexuality and my inner need for respect and safety is what planted the seed of my desire to get out of that toxic place. I am still very much confused about what I want and even more confused about what has happened to me and how it has affected me. But this confusion dissipates with the people I meet and the discussions I have and even the little journalistic tangents (such as this one) that I go on.

“And that is why I (need to) talk sex.”

Connect with Kit on instagram at @kiiiitk

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