“I talk sex to put an end to narrow-minded ignorance and abuse”
“I’m originally from Brazil – when people hear this, they instantly assume I have a lot of sex and love any physical contact.
“I have also been a victim of sexual abuse: at the age of 10 I was sexually abused by an uncle. When people hear this, they assume I hate sex.
“Because I’ve spent most of my life trying to please people, I’ve tried to fit in with both of the above stereotypes. This, contributed to a mental breakdown a few years ago.
“Now, I’ve walked away from abusive relationships – including one particularly harmful one where I became a personal pornstar for a good ten years. I’m in therapy and I’m finally getting to find out who I am. I am someone who enjoys sex, but now I can only be intimate with someone I love, respect, and feel extremely comfortable with. (Which apparently goes against my Brazilian roots; as I’m not having sex all the time …)
“However, I am still very sex-positive; one of my favourite things is talking about sex and being open and honest about sex in my life. And how it is an important and big part of my identity. I also love learning about others’ experiences, and their views on sex in our society.
“Because I’m so open about sex, people are surprised that I don’t have more of it: this month marks a year of me not having had sex or any sexual contact with another person. That has helped me in my healing process. I felt I needed to re-evaluate sex in my life, and now it’s more about me – I love to masturbate and discover and learn about what I enjoy and what pleases me. But for the past year, I have felt no need to fake what I actually want or have someone else touch me to validate my worth.
“I think there is a huge misconception about women and sex – and it’s about time we changed that. Women have a right to sex, however they want it and as often as they like, without judgement. I think society’s view on sex has become very much about women pleasing men, and that’s wrong, harmful and damaging.
“We still live in times where if a woman doesn’t have sex often, then she’s “frigid” – I’ve actually been called this – yet if she does have sex often, with multiple partners, then she’s a “slut”. I’ve been called this too. (I’ve also had an abortion, and was called a slut for that as well.) I hope to one day live in a world where those ignorant and narrowminded views no longer exist. And I am more than happy & willing to be part of this revolution 😉
“Today, I identity as pansexual. I no longer have sex to please others, I do it for me. I love sex and am sex positive, and my self-discovery journey led me to Scarlet Ladies and it’s genuinely been life changing.”
Read more on Endreilly’s blog, this-is-mental.com. Connect with her on twitter at @this_is_mental, and on instagram at @this_is_mental
Founder of Sonder & Beam.
Founder of Sonder & Beam.