How do we embrace our sexuality? Infact, what exactly is embracing sexuality? Everyone may have their own perspective on this but for me it is all about embracing who I am; my needs, wants and sexual identity. It is understanding that I am continuously changing and I need to accept all the changes. Just like seasons change, so does my sexuaity and needs. It is embracing my traumas that have affected how I see myself. It is being sympathetic and aware of myself.
Getting to this place was not easy at all, it is an ongoing journey to understand that I am not one dimensional. But, oh do I wish it was as simple as that. Prior to starting S&B I viewed myself as a very sexual woman, that loved sharing stories and openly discussing my sex life. S&B opened my eyes and rather than welcoming the new lessons I clammed up and froze. I was overwhelmed because I felt like a small fish in a big pond. Prior to this I was the big fish. Now, after years of self work including journaling, meditation and all of the events I have hosted I have changed again. I am still a sexual woman, but one who is totally fine with not having sex and far less demanding but in a good way. Because I am sympathetic to myself, I am sympathetic to others. I am satisfied sexually because I am embracing my changes.
Along with my journey I have witnessed so many womens and it has been insightful. Whilst no journey is the same there are core things that are needed to truly embrace our sexuality. We spend all of our lives learning about everything we want but never invest to educate ourselves on our bodies and sexuality. I guess we believe it is natural. But it couldn’t be further from the truth. To embrace who we are we need to learn, understand and accept ourselves. Here are my key ways to embrace your sexuality.
Step 1: Educate yourself
The first step is to educate yourself and unlearn so many things we have been told. When it comes to sexuality there is no such thing as normal. No matter yor budget there is something for you online; follow sex professionals on social media, join online groups, sign up to newsletters, book workshops and events. Do what works for you and gradually re-educate yourself about sex and relationships.
Step 2: Journal
We all have ideas and beliefs that have been fed to us from a young age that make us who we are today. I have my fair share of issues and with running S&B for 5 years you would think I have sorted my shit out. But, oh no I have a long journey ahead of me. Journaling has been the key to understanding my needs by speaking and listening to myself. In this life we are continually being spoken at, being told what to do, what we should and shouldn’t like. It is no surprise that the majority of us do not know what we want. Journalling is the solution to really understanding who you are, and it is free.
Step 3: Embrace self pleasure
Something else that is free is self pleasure. Yes, I am telling you to masturbate. Why? This is the one sure fire way to enjoy self love, get to know your body and love yourself. There is no one in this world who will take the time out to understand yourself other than you. By learning what you like you can share it with your bed partner. Select what you want to share and want to keep to yourself. Choose to go with imagination or hands free, listen to audios or read some erotica but whatever you do make sure no one tells you it is wrong.
Step 4: Update your network
I am not telling you to drop your friends but I am telling you to make new friends. But why would I need new friends when I have my own, you ask? The majority of people cannot and do not talk to their friends about sex. I am talking about the vulnerable conversations where you genuinely share your insecurities and problems. By being surrounded by a tribe of people who you can talk to genuinely you normalise sex. By normalising, you get empowered and take ownership of yourself.
Step 5: Talk it out
Once you have done the above. I can honestly say the biggest change I have seen with people is talking it out. Nothing overcomes shame and gets things out of the shadows than by saying it out loud. Talk more to your friends, invite friends to talks or simply share stories to friends to get the conversation started. You will thank me later for it.
Embracing your sexuality does not have to be a daunting task or complicated. It is a personal journey where you take one step at a time. This is a lifetime journey and each journey is unique. Join us on the 26th October to discuss how to embrace your sexuality. This is not a workshop but a short, open discussion to share ideas and thoughts. Book Now.