When I came across Tantra 20 years ago I found a language that deeply spoke to me. I finally came across a belief where my femininity was honoured, my sexual desire was celebrated and my body was seen exactly as it was. Growing up in a very traditional and religious country all these qualities were highly condemned.
Sex is a beautiful and natural part of our lives and Tantra celebrates it as a means to expand consciousness and make perfect use of all the energy that is confined in our bodies.
We grow up not really being able to talk about this subject to our families or seniors. Which is highly counterproductive learning what we think we need either from our piers or from porn, which provides a very limiting vision of sexuality. Even if we grow up in a more open minded culture or family unit, the emphasis is always on the anatomy and reproductive systems, at an age where our core beliefs were formed. Television and video games allow our children to watch murders and crimes but heavily censor any scenes that involve nudity or love making. What is the message we have been given? It’s okay to kill, but not to make love?
Sexuality is a life force, yet we live in a culture where this element of our life is either repressed or exploited, making our sexuality impregnated with shame, guilt leaving some people to only have sex unless under the influence of alcohol. Not knowing what to make of our sexuality, we sometimes misuse it, either hurting ourselves or others.
More and more women, single or in a relationship are getting curious about Tantra. They are tired of the old ways of making love, they know there is more to it but they don’t know how it looks like and therefore they don’t know what to ask for.
Fortunately there are more avenues available to us through mainstream workshops and of course in private sessions where you can learn about the beauty and the depth of sexuality with sex coaches, Tantra teachers etc.
In the West we tend to have sex as an act of release, meaning to achieve an orgasm.
In Tantra, sex is practiced to build energy and life force and it is seen as a sacred act in between two perfect beings.
Women have the capacity of being multi Orgasmic and have an enormous amount of sensitivity in every inch of our body, however, because our body gets rarely fully explored, our body stays sleepy. Our lovers often tend to stimulate our nipples and our clitoris straightaway without warming our bodies up and without ever awakening all those delicious semi erogenous zones in our bodies. That’s why people often get bored in long term relationship, it is because there is no exploration, no surrender to the Unknown.
Imagine if most of your sexual encounters would happen in a beautiful space set up as a boudoir , where everything that surrounds you stimulate your senses. Imagine sitting opposite your lover and looking him/her in the eyes for a few minutes before kissing. Enjoying each other’s gaze, feeling the pleasure of anticipation in your body, breathing smoothly and being fully present with every sensation, feeling even the air coming in and out of your nostrils and mouth…and then slowly getting closer to your lover, feeling their breath on your skin, not knowing what is going to happen next but not rushing anywhere…just enjoying the power and the mystery of that moment. Then your lips gently touch and you feel their softness on your skin and the anticipation in your body. Then slowly the tip of your tongue touch and you start tasting each other, feel each other on a new level, kissing slowly, with presence and intention. Your tongues start a dance of exploration and your fingertips very gently connects with his/hers and slowly like a snail, penetrate with your fingers the space in between your lover’s fingers without fully interlocking your hands but just with the intention of feeling their skin.
It’s about feeling the power of a moment and being able to enjoy it without having to rush in the next one. It is about understanding that everything that you are able to feel comes from within you and it is not only dependant on environment and others. It is about reconnecting to pure sensation within your body and trusting that it has everything you need to access ecstasy.
Guest Post by Tristano Lauro
Want to be introduced to Tantra? Request a Guest Pass to attend Introducing Tantra with Tristano Lauro, May 14th.
About Tantra with Tristano Lauro
“My purpose is to bring your attention to your real feelings, to your desires and to show you how this journey of self discovery can empower you.”
We are delighted to welcome Tristana Lauro, Relationship and Intimacy Coach, Tantra Yoga Educator and Orgasmic Meditation Trainer, to the intimate setting of 23 Paul Street to explore the beautiful, ancient practice of Tantra and how it can help you to be more present in your own body.
Tristana says, “I have been teaching Tantra for 10 years and I love witnessing how much it can enhance people’s lives, putting them in touch with their bodies and finding out what they never knew was available to them”. Join her to learn about the origins and meaning of Tantra and how you can integrate it into your life, reawakening your body and expanding your experience of pleasure. Combining simple explanations and practical exercises, Tristana will introduce Kundalini Energy and Chakras, the importance of goalessness in sex, and reveal how Tantra can help expand the energy stored in your body, into consciousnes