We believe that intimacy is about another. That it is something that we receive or is given to us by others. But I feel that idea is dis-empowering and makes us not responsible for our own intimate experiences.
Intimacy flowers when all that is in the way of intimacy is no longer our deepest truth. When we feel the courage and self love to show up with only the strength of self permission to be as we are NOW in this moment .To be seen, known and touched without the masks of fear, that we are not enough, not ready yet, untouchable or unlovable.
These few tips are a lifestyle to bring fresh intimate experiences everyday.
#1 ~ Creating a supportive environment.
Removing anything in our environment that suggests to our body and our psyche that we are not enough and that we need improving. For example; self help books, diet magazines, scales and so forth.
Add to our environment things that support us to feel nourished, safe and nurtured for who we are now. It is like making sure the soil we wish to grow from is good supportive soil.
Words have power so surround yourself in loving, empowering words.
#2 ~ Feeling it.
It is no good repeating affirmations like mantras, we have to feel them as true. So, try new words. Of course they will feel uncomfortable at first, like wearing new shoes but be aware of what that discomfort is and why. Where can you feel the discomfort in your body …throat, heart, stomach? Then hold that part of you and ask your body … what do you need? How may I love you? These parts of us that feel at unease are our resistance to love and intimacy, but if we hold them, hold ourselves, they dissolve … just as when we hold a child in its fear or pain.
#3 ~ How Do You Love Yourself?
Do you talk to yourself with love, encouragement and praise as you would a child? Or do you critique yourself?
Do you give to yourself gifts of devotion, body love and care? Or do you wait for others to give them or for a reason to have them … such as painting your nails, fresh flowers, your favourite bath oil. Beautifully scented body cream. What messages are you giving your body?
How you think, feel and even speak to yourself lingers in your energy field like unspoken words. These are your barrier to intimacy, to truly allowing yourself to be seen, known and touched for who you are right NOW.
#4 ~ Body Gratitude
Your body is amazing! Every part, every scar, every lump or bump has a story. It is what makes you, you! Take time to see that every hurt, every tear, every moment of laughter … your body has been there. It goes through so much and we push it so hard. When we reflect on just how much our body has been through, we soften towards our body … and open… our walls can drop. In softness we can receive … love and intimacy.
#5 ~ Self Caress
Give yourself 20 minutes a day of self pleasure and self caress. This maybe how you wash your skin, taking time to feel your body with tenderness. How you oil your skin? Allow your skin, your body to open to your own caress and to be in pleasure from your own touch.
-As told by Michelle Roberton, Sexual Trauma and Intimacy expert. www.sacredtantrictouch.com
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